"MAYBE THE THRILL OF LIFE IS TO DISCOVER IT ALL ON OUR OWN, IN MOMENT-TO-MOMENT AWARENESS"
Wouldn't it be great if when we are born we were given that awesome book or manual with detailed instructions on how to live this life? And all our questions were eloquently answered like why we are here? What does it all mean? What happens when we die? Why do we get sick? How can we be happy and create the life that we truly want?
But maybe it wouldn't...maybe the thrill of life is to discover it all on our own....
Probably just few of us are born in wonderful circumstances where there is a lot of wise, mature and nurturing behavior and examples around us in our early formative lives. As I observe life it seems that the majority of us learn through trials and tribulations, emotional or physical pain, trauma, illness and other unpleasant circumstance of our lives.
I definitely was this type of a curious child, who was asking tons of questions about life, existence, why we are here? Where do we go after we die? Etc. - I wanted to know the truth about life. That thirst for the answers lead me to read many books about philosophy, psychology, how to reach human potential, religion and spirituality, biology, how the mind - body and spirit are connected. I also have taken many seminars and courses on human development, personal growth and spiritual empowerment.
A lot of that searching and curiosity, I believe was coupled with a deep grief, sadness and confusion related to the fact that between the ages of 4 and 15 I lost 5 close, relatively young (48-62 years old) family members to various chronic illnesses.
I was first introduced to Transcendental Meditation back in Physical Therapy school during our first psychology semester many years ago. Right from the beginning it really intrigued and fascinated me. Ever since that time and then in my early 20's, after someone handed me the book "You can heal your life" by Louise Hay, I realized that I am finally tapping my toes into something that I was searching for a long time, but had no idea what it was.
The more I read and enjoyed meditation, the more my appetite grew. I was sensing that I was moving into a much bigger dimension that my five senses could detect or be aware of. I was becoming more excited about discovering another way of being, in reference to myself first, and the world around me.
When I was 24 years old, I lost my Dad to cancer at his young age of 62. That profound sadness again made me want to go even deeper for meaning and purpose.
As I have been meditating over the years, growing and evolving, reading and learning, I realized that this life is a beautiful process of unfolding of our true self. It takes a lot of work and dedication. It is a nice intellectual concept that we hear in our religious classes that we are all children of God. It is nice to hear it, but to fully feel it, which is feeling good most of the time, most of the life - is a completely different thing, especially when it is mirrored by many painful and sad circumstance in our life, over which we may have no control. This is the work of learning and unlearning that true happiness is really an inside job.
It takes work. It mostly takes dedication and self-awareness. Brutal self-honesty. To let go of everything that we learned, accumulated and have been conditioned to, that simply was not the truth about us, or who we really are. It is not always easy to let go of reactivity to the outside world. To sense that everything that is triggering us about others, is really inside of us to uncover and let go.
When we start perceiving mediation, not as a nice tool to quiet our mind, but an elegant and grounded way of living, we really start tapping into true happiness, which is not dependent or contingent on external circumstances or anyone's behavior or action toward us.
When we start living our life with deep, relaxed, grounded and confident self-awareness, we start approaching a new way of life, which is based on freedom and deep inner peace.
If we could simply learn to accept each and every moment of life precisely as it is, without the internal resistance, and give ourselves the permission to be as we are at the given moment... If we could become more present to our own awareness and allow our own emotions, thoughts, and feelings to simply be as they are.... And, with that allowance, over time they lose the grip on us, so we can feel freer inside and shine from our true light and awareness.
The key to everything is really self-awareness. All we can do it take one day at a time, being fully present in it.
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